Parenting Absent Children is the Pits

Oh my! It's a time in life that is very difficult. Lately I've sent my kids to the far corners of the earth. Nathan & Harmony, and baby Andre have gone to Papua, Indonesia. It's hard enough to think of not seeing them for a year or two, but knowing that we will miss all of the baby stages of our little grandson is deeply disturbing. We are proud of them and yet we are sacrificing so much. Now I know what the "Miss" is in Missionary parents. I have found some help at the website for Parents of Missionaries, found at http://www.pomnet.org/voices-email.php and I have appreciated their personal emails to me during my hardest times. The best help I have found, though, is in hearing their voices over Skype. We can't use the webca, unfortunately, because their slow phone lines can't handle the bandwidth; but our blood pressure tends to normalize after an occasional session visiting.

Now add to that heartache the extra longing and yes, fear, that we experience at the same time while our youngest son Jordan is in the Persian Gulf on the USS Abraham Lincoln. Again, we are so proud of him, but it is tempered by our wishing that he wasn't there. There is a lot of "not knowing" that gives us the hardest time. Not knowing exactly where he is, or exactly what he is doing, or exactly HOW he is doing, or exactly when we will hear from him again - well, it's just a constant uncertainty.

And then there is the normal missing of our married son John and his wife Yvonne, who live across the country from us. There is a lot of "not knowing" involved in that, too.

So whether it's missionary parenting, military parenting, or my own missing my babies kind of missing, it's just hard. I try not to obsess about it. My comfort is email, phones, and -best of all - knowing that the Creator God can watch over them wherever they are on this earth.

How can a spirit be well-trained?

Training is my chosen profession. It is a form of teaching, yet deeper than a single thought or piece of knowledge, it is a developed pattern in our lives. We train a plant or tree to bend or grow in a certain direction by putting constant tension on it to allow only certain directions of growth. It also prevents growth in certain directions. The key is to train it correctly. When we don't hink about how we are allowing ourselves to be trained, we become unruly, disorganized, and haphazard in our lifestyles and habits. If we want our spiritual lives to grow in the right direction, then, we must give thought to what we are allowing to shape us.

The experiences of our lives are shaping our thoughts, reactions, emotions, and attitudes all the time. The Bible says that "we can train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. " (Prov. 22:6) We are shown in other parts of the Bible how impactful the disciplines of prayer, study, service, giving, and caring can be to our own souls as well as others. Therefore, this site will be something of a personal journey as well as a form of Christian discipline and accountability.

I hope to create a space here for a variety of musings. From a Christian perspective, I will include writings that represent the many areas of my life: Grandmothering, Missionary parenting, military parenting, Christian writing, Christian speaking, professional computing, teaching in many forms, being a pastor's wife, being a friend, and helping aging parents. I have a hard time narrowing the field until I know how this new "plant" will bloom.

I invite you to participate in any one or all of these exploratory areas. I know that at some point it will take shape, so bear with me while I tease you into joining me. Do you have some serious concerns about your faith and how to walk it out? Let's talk it out. I look forward to walking this journey with you.